From SL: I have finally come to understand the necessity of Greed

Written by ina on Wednesday, 24 of September , 2008 at 9:00 am
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Less than six months ago, I would have readily offered to help people (non-blood-family members; the other people get everything for free) I know in financial need with small grants (not loans - they can pay me back if they wish; of course, if they made a fuss that they will absolutely pay me back, and end up not, then I’d take that as a judgment of their character). The largest grant I’ve given out is about $500 US dollars, and I typically spend a few thousand dollars a year on these merit-with-need grants.

So, the other day, a good friend was having a sale on SL, where some of her highest priced items wouldn’t be more than $3 US dollars, and yet I was cringing at attending it — and actually I didn’t attend it (but partly also because of other events taking up my time)! And it wasn’t just any sale, it was the sale that would prevent her from losing the roof over her head. Literally. In real life.

I was basically thinking of micro-micro-economics and how much every single $L mattered - I mean, if I were to just give out just a few thousand each time, enough, and then I’d be out. And I can’t afford to do that currently. I have heavy obligations in SL. Heavy financial obligations that I all-too-naively threw myself into. And these obligations are total dependents! They’d literally die without me.

And then, as I was counting my $L, trying to project possible models of break even, I suddenly understood the necessity of greed. I’ve never actually counted my money in RL, but I’m finding myself doing this in SL since my goal is really to return to my old philosophy — and I have to, or else I really would go crazy! — which is that I can’t put anything but my time into a game. And right now I’m putting in both my time and money — an inordinate amount of my time. It’s fun — in the sort of unnerving hair-tearing way that building a magnum opus out of caramel glass and twizzler might be — but it’s a temporary psychosis that I will one day have to leave behind. Greed is necessary to reach a very basic goal - that of breaking even, that of becoming self-sufficient, and no longer a parasite.

And, I’m almost back in Randianese again… I haven’t even read Atlas Shrugged this year!

Category: Reflections

Who is Ina Centaur?

A 25-year old American polymath of Taiwanese ancestry pretending to be old and Caucasian in Second Life. Semi-retired independent scholar also dabbling as an independent artist in new media, particularly theatre and the humanities—notably Shakespeare. Programmer, playwright and novelist. Formal academic background in http://portfolio.inacentaur.com/ina/scientist, philosophy, and bioengineering.

This is largely a personal blog which isn't always up-to-date. There's no one definitive way to stalk me ;-).