Deprecated: Assigning the return value of new by reference is deprecated in /home/ina/public_html/blog/wp-includes/cache.php on line 36

Deprecated: Assigning the return value of new by reference is deprecated in /home/ina/public_html/blog/wp-includes/query.php on line 21

Deprecated: Assigning the return value of new by reference is deprecated in /home/ina/public_html/blog/wp-includes/theme.php on line 540
Blog by Ina Centaur » occupation

 

Am I Hikkomori?

Written by ina on Monday, 21 of January , 2008 at 2:01 am
Tags: , , , ,

P just sent me a new word called Hikkomori, which I immediately wikipedia’ed. While the researcher who coined the word had initially thought the phenomenon secular to Japan, Hikkomori actually exist all over the world. They’re basically young adults who are in a state of flux–and thus have chosen to withdraw from society.

I can’t say I’m housebound as a refusal to interact with physical society… I’m basically just trying to settle some personal conflicts that ought to be settled internally. I have a background in physics and engineering… but when I visualize myself as a physicist or engineer twenty years later, I usually wind up with a panic-attack. Another part of me wants to be an artist.

It used to be that I regarded any work that didn’t have tech innovation to be menial and in vain — spending hours and hours doing pixel art, for example, may yield a beautiful end result, but doesn’t yield any “net work.” But, the thing about modern science and engineering is that it’s all messy and ephemeral and based on the wrong paradigm :-O. Everyone’s basically just finger painting on a dirty canvas.

So, what of the recluse who locks herself up in some cloister and dreams up beautiful equations all day and then burns them all up so that they remain hers… It’s what E said about art being not about the end product, but the actual process. In the end, what you actually get to make all relies on your own perception of your work… and, that’s process dependent.

I for one hate waste, and would try to make something out of everything. Eventually, at least. I have a tendency to fall madly in love with projects and then lose interest before completion.

It’s also about what K said about doing what you enjoy… And, I enjoy taking photos of fake people in a fake world… currently more than any other occupation in the world. (Yes, there *is* that annoying part of me that wouldn’t shut up, the part that keeps at it with the mantra: “you are *so* wasting your life; you are *so* wasating your life; you are *so* wating your life; you are *so* wtng your life…)

Category: Reflections

Who is Ina Centaur?

A 25-year old American polymath of Taiwanese ancestry pretending to be old and Caucasian in Second Life. Semi-retired independent scholar also dabbling as an independent artist in new media, particularly theatre and the humanities—notably Shakespeare. Programmer, playwright and novelist. Formal academic background in http://portfolio.inacentaur.com/ina/scientist, philosophy, and bioengineering.

This is largely a personal blog which isn't always up-to-date. There's no one definitive way to stalk me ;-).